i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
