I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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