Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
