Christians are straight up FREAKS
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
