your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
