He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
