3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
