Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
