Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
