This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
