i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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