I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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