If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
