i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
