i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Send help, water and tortillas.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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