Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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