It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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