I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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