Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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