my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
