i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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