a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
