i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
