I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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