And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
