clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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