I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
