Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
