I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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