Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
