Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
