I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He shit in the fireplace
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
