We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
