I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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