Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
