You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
