I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
