I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm sobbing to NWA
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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