Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
