3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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