what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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