saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
