You work out of a Hotel?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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