thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
my liver is dry heaving
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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