R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
