So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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