Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
