I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
