Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
