The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
