I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
